the choice of being a libarated open minded libyan women

I've heard so many people tell those who suffer depression to just 'cheer up.' I wonder if they can really believe that it’s that simple. Depression isn't just sadness. It is emptiness, it is misery. It is pain and nothingness at once. When you are truly depressed you lack the ability or will to cheer yourself up. No one just ‘has depression.’ You suffer from it ... and this is due to a result of making a choice that no matter what you do it will always affect your life in which :

you will always be rejected by society
you will have religous groups against you
you will likly be abused by people ... specially men
you will likly be mintally harmed due to alot of stress and pressure
you will have less rights than others .... Agian ! rememeber!! its a men's market!!!
risks of losing family support
risks of losing friends
risks of being the target of jokes
risks of being scamed or played
lose your reputation
and this will increase the risk of never getting married !
as you are the talk of the day ... month ... year !!
resulting you being ashamed of no wrong you commited !!!

Causing you wakeing at 10, 11, even 1 pm !!, feeling as though you had only just fallen asleep. It’s likely you did. If you don't have to be somewhere, you could lie in bed for another 3 hours...too tired, too miserable and pathetic to crawl out of you bed. Or maybe you will sleep until 5! because it’s so much easier to sleep through most of the day than actually live it, and you’re so unbelievably tired anyway. You will push through the day, knowing that every hour will be a struggle and not knowing how you will feel tomorrow. People will ask what is wrong, and you will simply smile and say 'nothing, I'm just tired.' Yes you are tired. You are so tired of drifting through every day, with no will to actually live. But you simply smile, and they'll believe you. It’s so much easier to lie anyway, and most of the time you can push away the guilt. Sometimes you might find a way out, temporary as it may be. You might write or draw or sing. Or you might cut, burn, binge, purge, drink, starve, scratch, pull, overdose...anything to take your mind away from the utter misery it seems to be so obsessed with. What you don't know is that soon these acts will take over your thoughts

Have you ever felt as though your whole body could just crumble any minute? Just crumble and fall apart, like it’s lost anything it had holding it together. That’s what it feel like all the time to be depressed. That raw fragility. It feels as though the smallest disruption in our life, or in your head, or in the world, could send everything spiraling downwards. And it can. The tiniest mistake can cause you to hate yourself more than you could possibly imagine. The smallest crack in your world can make it all seem pointless.

Eventually, you begin to expect it. You anticipate the bad times, because you know the good times are just fooling you. And they are filled with fear and anxiety over when everything will come crashing down again. You are always waiting for the next breakdown. You’ve become so accustomed to feeling miserable, that happiness is a foreign feeling that you won’t even let yourself experience. You don’t deserve it. So you become numb, which at times, is worse than the full-blown screaming and crying depressive ‘episodes.’ You find yourself begging to hurt again, because any feeling is better than feeling nothing at all ending up gradually strips you of any hope you previously had. And without hope, it’s difficult to see a future or a reason to fight , getting married to someone you don't deserve or worst ..... is convert to their side