An invisible enemy

All these things I hate revolve around me
All these things I despise
All these things I abhor
They steam forth from me
There is a darkness around me,
Which I refuse to see
To acknowledge
I claim it to be my imagination
Not knowing how eager
People are to tear me apart
They've done it before,
Got Betrayed by my friends, betrayed by those I love
Who's to say it won't happen again?
Who's to say I could stop it from happening, again?
Part of me longs to isolate myself,
To keep my self safe
Another part of me wants to help,
To make up for what they've done,
If that were ever possible
And then there's the part of me, which loves to see my self
Tortured
Tormented
That wants to inflict hurt myself
And destroy it down
Come near me at your own risk.