Sinking ship !!!

Well they called it a declaration
I called it an act of war
It was time for my litigation
Complained how policy was such a bore
You say it isn’t personal
But you follow orders as all
And I say you had to have some stake
and stand and hunt for a call


By taking footstep
There is no sound
And as we all slept
The children drowned
generations wasted
Motherland is crying
as the past is nothing but a failure
and shame on our present and future

I dreamt of the future once or twice
I remember she had the emotions of ice
she told me she was dieing from the
present that the past caused

Well I doing my best to make it right
Doing what I can to burn out bright
People frowning striving for some glee
In dismantling what I tried to achieve
As they waited in long ques of awe
Felt like I was two feet tall
And on that humid summer day
The hero hangs, dangles for days

By the footstep
You’d think we will wake
But on we had crept
So we could cry all day

The minstrel played loud and bright
The songs were filled with hate and spite
The Elegy was written out
With all the good parts for the devout
But when they read their morning news
The lies, the hate, it was no use
Like bubblegum all wet and chewed
We sadly got spit out, we would not muse

By the darkness
You’d think we’d get a clue
But Hallelujah
we simply have nothing better to do

For all my brothers and sister I salute your patience
For all the grown-ups out there I say its time to cross the message
That this is a new era where time had changed and so should you
Uniting for a common interest
we should form at some point
And rescue what is left from this sinking ship ...

its over !

So much anger,
And resentment inside.
All I can ever do,
Is begin to wonder why.
How did you cause this,
You must have cracked the mold.

I broke apart from society,
Set apart from the norm.
When all I ever wanted to do,
Is to start over
As no one can accept us even me or you

It is time to go back home where my heart can stay cold
My hands start to shake,
my voice cracks as I try to speak,
My head is lost in confusion,
For I can't think of what to say.
Where to begin.
Where to end.

Should I even start?
What good would it bring?
What pain could it cause?
I say this to myself,

You found a way into my coldness.
Yet I thought we were finding the way out together.
With your help, I was doing the impossible.
Feeling, living, laughing, loving.

If I could wish just for a last dose yet I strive for many.
So that I could keep your loving warmth near me,
And that I would never become cold again
With you by my side.
I had no choice but to lie

For how much I hated you not now not forever
As memories became just disappointments of what tomorrow can be.
I had stopped to believe and know now it is time to leave
I am trying to believe that you are never to deceive
You'd bring out the best in me that had my heart warm out
and you are bringing out the worst in me
that made me share of fears of losing you

Yet my fears had begun to go and it was time to let you go
I had lost the believe that used to make us two
As much I hate to say this but it is time to say it is over

I loved it when you hit me
Cause I knew it was just for play
I miss it when you leave me
but i wished it was only for a day

You kissed my sores all better the day i met you
Made it feel all right
You often couldn't sleep when I was with you
and I loved to talk all night

You pretend I'm not important but It's not in your eyes
it's cute the things you do make me feel you are worth the fight
So I didn't mind the lies knowing you are with me till the end
but it all changed and i wish I could turn things back in time
as each time I try to help things I end by pushing you far away

I can not lose more than what i lost already
being far away makes me miss everything about you
As I sallow my emotions knowing things are not the same
I don’t think you’ll ever understand just how I feel
yet I am trying my best to explain

that what I miss is something you took away
of me being safe with you
this had raised up my anger made me lose hope and control
I may be not who you knew but I am sure you are not him either
I am sorry for not being able to carry this any longer

Unethical

When hope dies on a bright day
When love and ethics tend not to go hand in hand
That is when morality becomes about committing crimes

If our hearts and souls were washed to behave this way
And our pride denies the execution for its own humanity

When is commitment commitment?
and when does monogamy come into play?

If manner is what is socially accepted
even if many are unacceptable to us and others .

If life became about suffering
instead of what feels right to each individually.

Others call it selfishness
to how must be hedonistic in our approach to life,

or else nothing will ever work out “our way”
that makes me wonder when is it the right time to cross the line ??

I stand accused of speaking of the troubles of the world.
This time, yes, I spoke one word to which you took as an offense

I will not be crucified for all of you
But I will take the bullet for whom I wont call many

And when they retrieve that bullet from my heart
only a true hero will take it off and start a war

In memory of all the things I would not remain silent about.
And no blood shall be shed but mine.

Do not step over my listless form
And then trample my scars open
So they would bleed anew once again.

Apathy is a motto that is taken to heart and then we wonder
Why the world in which we live in is so corrupt

Arrest me if you want
Cleanse me of the sins and make me new whole again.
Repair the gaping hole in my soul that reaks of hatred to pestilence, famine and war.

Yet I am not the first one to try nor the others will stop
To absolve the wrongs and transform them to rights
Forgive the brash decisions and impure thoughts.

As we all are growing to a world naive to fix
yet to sit and watch would out giving a hand that would be just ...

Unethical

I hate to love you

I am finally satisfied !!
for all your crap and shenanigans,
It is time for me to pack,
Get ready to move on,
from all these long fights,
from all these unending lies.
I am so sick of this illusion,
Can’t take all this confusion,
Fuck all these empty promises,
Words by time are now meaningless,
So sick of listening to these excuses,
knowing that I want be with you,
But not gonna jeopardize my happiness,
Not ready for the risk of getting hurt again,
Don’t think I ever will be,
Put these walls up around me,
Not willing to take them down,
Don’t bother trying to undo them,
I just don’t care anymore,
Sorry but I’ve been hurt before,
So badly that I still haven't recovered,
Only enough to hide it,
I want you, I need you,
But I don’t want to need you,
Leave me alone before you hurt me,
Come back into my life before you leave me,
I love you and I hate you,
It is time for me to go home !

My anthem

I'm in the point of no return
Beyond the point is what I've passed
I can't go on not with out my turn
Not with out the things I've passed

I’ll Stand Tall
Above The Rest
And they’ll dwell in their heap
In a rotten monotonous mess.

I’ll be The Raging Flame
The one that refuses to die
Be just what I want
And hold my head up high.

Without a fear of being
Shunned
Scorned
And scolded;
I’ll move past them all
And be just what I wanted.

I won’t be a toy
Controlled by them
I’ll be apart
Follow my own path.

I’ll go against their rules
And be just what they hate
Just to be myself
I’ll do what it takes.

Screaming my anthem :

" A fight to fight,
A will to win,
A loss and all its
strife,
A maiden bane,
An iron chain,
A cosmic blow to life,
A thought profound,
A mind unbound,
An action to set us
free,
A voice to quell,
A new spell,
A rebel, and that is me !"

You may not think it is worth it to protest, however, I and many others disagree.

If we have a need,
we have the right, and we shall protest that which is wrong in our view,
it doesn't matter if we think our single voice isn't worth it,
because a single voice is in a union with others and that what makes the great and mighty symphony of democracy.

It is our right and it is our will, we will be the change we wish to see.

We with a voice are the guiding light of freedom, the rain of fairness and then I will know I had won.

I am a dictator !

I am a dictator !

A godest ...
a rebel ...


I ain't a saint
I aint's nothing but the devil ...

I own my chair
I earned it the way I should

I fought the game hard
and bleeded the truth
just the taste of resistance,
reminded me of the forbidden fruit !

I learnt that the hard way
that time had crawled for me ...
its was my time to shine now,

remembering my place, my status , my condition
my people are watching,
and you can't save my face,
I am gasping for air,
in which war just started now ,,,
and forever it will be ending

Yet my demons had took over me ...
again The devil is here
Hush ..
I Can hear him too ...

Being my self matters ..
yes ...
thats what he said

Am I a dreamer ..
or just a confused rebel
trying to climb her way out ...

Am I am leader ...
or just a follower of making others hopes and dreams come true ...
I have lived days to wonder on what is it for me you know ...

And this is my story ,,,
I have nothing to do neither in civil rights nor leadership ...
I find my words made you worship me ???
expecting nothing but elite ??
me ?? why ??

I walk the path as if I am a creator ...
with endless vision of a better a tomorrow ...


Am I a liar ??
Of what promising life it would be
moving out of the chains and vanquish you
vanquish who ever was right
in supporting interests and selling their believes


Yes I am a dictator !
I tell u the truth
I am selfish
I don't bargin
and I hate all human that they do

My soul is not for sale
nor are my believes
I do what I see is right
even if my lost was you !

My Friends ?? who are they
My followers ?? Non that you know !!

I am a women with honor for standing up for what I do !
I have rights ...
My own conditions
And if you hate them
I don't blame you if you do ...

I’m stuck in this position
In a sea of criticism
Muttered in code
Not even you Could revise my decision

Am I a fighter ??
or a disgruntled worker
Demanding fair rights
Making my way
Through the fights


Preaching violence
Advocating sickness
Screaming my insanity
Unleashing madness for my voice to be herd !!

I know I am a dictator ...
it is a part in me never seen
I am telling you what my problems are

As if you didn't knew them already
my personal flaws
Draw me the right to be here
I take what I should value most
waking up from living like we were vegetables

Influenced by everything around me
What else was I but unsecured?

Take my heart into account
It has never seen the light
Dress me up, throw me down
I can never change for the better

Its all decided that I am a failure
I don’t care about your orders
They tell me who I am not
I just don’t fit in with the rest of your prized possessions

A vital chair
Sitting on the throne of conformity
Thriving on the praise we give them
Our lives and our souls

Mean nothing in comparison
their reign extends to the far corners of the world
the shame of a social democracy shatters
I see the true dictatorship
Formed throughout our lives

And that is why I am a dictator !!

Anything but a libyan ...

I try to go on with the flow..
Dreaming that one day this is all will be over ...
have a libration and freedom of will ...
using all the potential I have ....
doing things I meant to do !

yet I open my eyes and boy oh boy ..
I am sitting on an electric chair..
my hands are chained into the wires ...
if I move
...
it is a dead end ...

if I keep going on same track I will be not free for always ...
I read my prayers and gave up my last words ...
If you were me what would have you done ???
To be a girl ? an Arab ? Big deal !!
It is embraced to move on with life !!

but to be a Libyan ???
what choices do I have ..
as I will always be imposed on what so called social limits..
or is it the laws made to crush a human down ??
Problem is .. it is not politics nor religion ...
it is laws created by hatery !!

yes I say it proud and clear !
the only reason its down is to forbid birds to fly up high !
Go ahead cut my wings ..
Strike me down your list down ...
Is it my life or yours ??
Or is it just a passport I cursed myself with ??

In which today I am a person of no belong !
I am a victim committed of innocent crime ..
to pay my choices in exchange of freedom ??
what is freedom anyhow !
living with no invasion in safe borders ??

Guess what my life is invaded by my people !
my soul has been sold out the day I was born ..
In which today I lost the interest of being a Libyan
I lost my identify ..
my belonging ...
my believes

Who am I ?
An alien who were born away from home !
A home of acceptance ..
A home to love ...
A home where I can be myself ..
And follow my dreams ...

A dream where no capital punishment made for embracing a sister like me ..
A home with no borders ...
no limits ...
It is the home of no conditions ..
just being me matters ...

I am who I am you can not change me so please don't try
So let up the criticism put down any attempts

In which I will always be your home before you become mine ....